October 28, 2025
We are a few weeks into this new life, and I have learned one thing very quickly: Words matter. In my first week of research, I dared to type "Home School" into a forum. I was quickly and sharply corrected: "It's Home Education."
The "Illegal" Pause
That wasn't the only conflict we found. There is a massive disconnect between what the Law expects and what the Child needs. The Local Authority is clear: once you de-register, you must provide an education immediately. No breaks. No gap years.
But the "hardcore" Home Ed community - and our own instincts - said the opposite. They insist on "De-schooling." But for how long? One week for every year of school? Six months? "As long as it takes"?
We felt the moral weight of this. Are we failing her by letting her "sit around"? Are we breaking the rules? But while we panicked quietly, something amazing started happening to Ash.
The Death of the People Pleaser
We noticed a shift. The quiet, compliant child who would hold everything in just to make others happy - the classic autistic "fawn" response - was disappearing. In her place, a new version of Ash was emerging.
- She Started Saying "No": If she didn't want to do something, she told us. For parents of neurotypical kids, this looks like defiance. For us? It was a miracle.
- Boundaries Appeared: She stopped accepting things that made her uncomfortable just to keep the peace.
- Confidence Grew: By removing the daily trauma of school, she had the energy to actually have a personality again.
"We realized that her 'defiance' wasn't bad behavior. It was the return of her agency."
Validation from the Experts
We took our "is this okay?" panic to Zoe of Holistic Balance Therapy, Ash's at-home therapist. She was the anchor we needed. She reminded us that we are still in the very early days of a massive life transition.
Her advice was clear: We have to shed the idea of a "traditional path." We aren't trying to recreate school at home; we are trying to build a future that actually fits Ash. That conversation gave us permission to stop looking at the clock and start looking at our daughter.
